Neo Steinhoff

Apply · training

Coaching

Programming, form review, and someone who reads your log.

A training programme written for you and adjusted every fortnight against what your log actually says. You send the log and a working set on video; I send back the next block and the specific things to change.

Eight-week blocks, because four is too short to prove anything and twelve is long enough to keep running a programme that stopped working in week five.

What I am good at is the boring part: getting the main lifts to progress without the plateau-and-restart cycle, matching the programme to the equipment and time you genuinely have, and telling you when the answer is sleep rather than a new split.

Apply

What you get

  • A programme written for your equipment, schedule, and injury history — not a template with your name at the top.
  • Fortnightly review of your log, in writing, with the changes for the next two weeks.
  • Video form review on the main lifts, with the fix and the reason for it.
  • A monthly 30-minute call if you want one. Plenty of people never use it.
  • Straight answers on nutrition at the level of protein, calories, and timing — the level that actually moves the numbers.

What this isn’t

  • Not medical advice, and I am not a doctor, physiotherapist, or dietitian. If something hurts in a way that is not muscular, the answer is a clinician, and I will keep saying that until you go.
  • No performance-enhancing drugs. I will not write a cycle, advise on one, or adjust a programme around one. There is no version of that conversation I am qualified to have, and most of what is online about it is written by people selling something.
  • No prescription or unregulated compounds, dosed or otherwise — the same rule the protocol pages run on. Mechanism and risk I will discuss; numbers I will not.
  • Not a licensed or certified personal training qualification. I have trained seriously for years and read the literature closely. That is what you are buying, and it is not the same as a credential.
  • Not a physique guarantee, a timeline, or a before-and-after. No transformation photos here because a photo is not evidence and I am not going to pretend otherwise.
  • Not appropriate for a body that is still developing without a guardian in the loop — and much of what circulates in longevity and physique culture is actively wrong for one.

What it costs

$180 a month, eight-week minimum

  • Billed monthly. The first eight weeks are the minimum because a shorter block cannot tell you whether it worked.
  • After eight weeks, month to month. Cancel any time before the next bill.
  • Rewriting the programme mid-block is included. It is not an upsell — if it stops fitting your week, it gets changed.
  • One free place per intake for someone under 18 who is training seriously and cannot pay. Guardian in the loop, same as everyone under 18.

This is for you if

  • You train at least three times a week already, and you will log it.
  • You want to be told the honest reason a lift is not moving.
  • You have equipment and a schedule you can describe accurately.

It isn’t, if

  • You want a plan for a compound, a cycle, or anything you would not say out loud to a doctor.
  • You are looking for motivation rather than programming — I am not going to text you at 6am.
  • You have an injury or condition that has not been seen by a clinician. Get that first; the training will still be here.

How it runs

  1. 1

    You apply

    15 minutes

    Including the honest version of your training history.

  2. 2

    I read it

    Within 5 days

    Some applications get a no, usually because a clinician is the right first step.

  3. 3

    Movement screen

    Your next session

    You send three lifts on video. Free, and it decides most of what happens next.

  4. 4

    Call

    30 minutes

    Thirty minutes on goals, history, and what your week actually looks like.

  5. 5

    First block

    Week one

    Programme in your hands within three days of the call.

Apply

The form

Long on purpose — the answers are the screen, and a form that takes two minutes gets answered by people who have thought about it for two minutes. It saves as you type on this device, so you can leave and come back.

Step 1 of 425%

You

The short bit. Everything after this is about the work.

Where the reference code and the answer go.

City and country.

Links

Whatever shows the work. All optional — one good link beats four thin ones.

Already applied? Check where it has got to.